The Nurtured Heart Approach® (NHA) was created by Howard Glasser, marriage and family therapist, and is a highly acclaimed relationship-focused methodology founded strategically in The 3 Stands™ for helping children (and adults) build their Inner Wealth™ and use their intensity in successful ways. What began as a method to help challenging children has become a powerful way of awakening the inherent greatness in all children. It’s a method that helps children see the beauty of who they are by our intentional interactions with them and our delivery of emotional energy at the right moments.
The proven methodology of NHA creates healthy, connected, positive and strengthened relationships among family members, couples, schools, facilities and workplaces through acknowledgement and recognition and the purposeful delivery of positive energy. Even the most “difficult” children are capable of shifting their negative behavior patterns when the right, intentional interactive strategies are executed. Through the development and growth of these relationships into ones filled with positive, nurturing substance, children and adults alike begin to reach their full potential.
Through Glasser’s work with challenging and intense children, he discovered that traditional methods fail because of three reasons and therefore created what we call The 3 Stands™. Children get so much more—more relationship, more intense relationship—when things are going wrong. This is the foundational error in conventional ways of parenting, school discipline and treatment. NHA will bring you to understand how your best efforts may actually fuel the fire of challenging behavior and how to make simple shifts that will change everything.
The 3 Stands™
NHA happens in the present moment and acknowledges the truth of an individual’s success in that moment. The 3 Stands™ were created to work in relation to one another. When first beginning the Approach, Stand 1 and Stand 2 must be solidly in place before Stand 3 can be effective.
1) Absolute NO!—refusing to give relational energy to negative choices/behavior. It’s no longer rewarding our children’s negative behavior with what they want the most—us. It’s no longer giving relationship when things are going wrong or appreciating in silence when things are going right.
2) Absolute YES!—acknowledging and expressing through verbal recognition what is going right in the moment. It’s giving positive, intentional energy and relationship to desired behavior.
3) Absolute Clarity!—setting clear limits about rules and boundaries and being consistent with true consequences. It’s having absolute clarity about expectations—what is and is not acceptable—and then having the courage to be accountable to those expectations and following through with the consequence.
NHA is being used in tens of thousands of families around the world, thousands of classrooms, various clinical settings, group homes, etc. to help children and families thrive. Although the settings may change, the Approach doesn’t.
To learn more about Howard Glasser and NHA visit his website www.difficultchild.com and www.childrenssuccessfoundation.
